adrenaline.

we went whitewater rafting a couple weeks ago. and we came face to face with a bear on a hike. so i guess now it would only make sense that we are adrenaline junkies. trying to get our fix off of anything and everything. so monday night we went to the kiddy pool at the rec center to try and curb our cravings for adventure. and guess what? i couldn't even jump off the kiddy high dive. i mean, i did, eventually. but I owe my success to the 10 attempts of walking to the edge and back and also to the 6 kids under 46 inches cheering me on.

so i guess you could say i'm back to being boring old, two feet on the ground, heart rate at a low 60 bpm, melissa.

hazel rae.

dear hazel.

seven weeks ago you were born. so i guess you could say seven weeks ago was your birthday. your actual day. you made it just in time baby girl. we needed you here. did you know that day was amazing? martin luthur king jr day. one of my most favorite monday holidays. you were the cutest, most beautiful. all squeaky and new. i couldn't wait to snuggle you so i ripped you from your mom's arms and held you and kissed your cheeks for as long as i could. your eyes were wide open when we first met while my eyes were full of tears. 

i can't wait, hazel rae, to spoil you for your whole life and to love you even more. we're the luckiest to have you here.

part one: confessions of a diet coke addict.

the other night whilst we were sound asleep in our bed. not a creature was even stirring. all the sudden we are awoken by some sort of clatter. danny got up to see what was the matter. and i was just completely freaked out. thinking we were getting robbed. and then not being scared anymore once i realized no one would rob us, we have like two things. after he searched the house we just came to the conclusion that someone, somewhere, must have dropped a bag of marbles. so we went back to sleep. guess what it ended up being? some idiot (me) put a diet coke in the freezer and forgot about it. so for the last 2 days i've just been cleaning up frozen diet coke. 

just some stuff.

i'm still thinking about the oscars and it's been like over a week. i don't care what anyone says adele is like the songbird of our generation. she killed it at the oscars. like i wish i could do that. also i feel like silver linings playbook should have received more awards. buuuut i guess i'll settle for jennifer lawrence falling up the stairs and winning best actress.

i've been practicing my headstand for yoga. and i know it probably sounds easy to all my readers (mom and erika, hi!), but i am STRUGGLING! i have been seriously working on it for over 3 months now and i can barely do it against the wall. i'm just so terrified of it for some reason. i'll keep you posted.

i did our taxes. for the first time ever. usually my mom does them for me, but i decided i should grow up. and i did them. and they got accepted. and i am just so happy. and i can't stop bragging about it to everyone that i meet. like random check out girl at the grocery store. i'm not joking. i seriously told a check out clerk at target. and i encouraged her to do her own too. like WHO AM I?

i'm obsessed with snap chat. i can't stop snap chatting. i'm pretty sure that is my pogo, i snap chat too much. (if you aren't sure what i just said, then i'm just real sorry).

i've been testing gum brands and flavors for the last week or so. my jaw hurts so much. but my breath is minty fresh.

later.

sis.

can i get serious for a minute and tell you about my baby sister? even though she is a grown woman with two babies, i will always see her as my little baby sis.

she is smart and talented. like really talented. she makes the simplest thing seem like the most beautiful. she has always been there for me. through everything. my little side kick and bff, even when we wanted to punch each other in the face. which i actually did do one time. what?

she is funny. like really really REALLY funny. i catch myself just laughing at everything she says.

she is loyal.

and i just love her a lot.

skiing.

we went on a ski trip this last weekend and it was such a good time. aside from skiing we went snowshoeing, toured temple square, shopped a lot, and ate food until we were pretty sure we would explode. plus we got stuck in a huge snow storm up cottonwood canyon and i have never been so scared in my life. i was shaking and almost in tears when we made it to the bottom.

i love spending time with danny. it's like my top favorite thing. making memories with him is the best thing i do.

this one time.

this one time. i was sitting in the living room. and my dad walks by with a hot dog in one hand and a 10 pound fish in the other. i never laughed so hard.

this one time. my dad kept telling me that i needed a pocket knife. he kept putting a camo colored one in my purse. and i kept taking it out. then finally i took it out and ran to the car. he chased me out and waved it at me as i drove away. he's never laughed so hard.

this one time. i came home with a fake glitter tattoo on my shoulder. my dad was sitting in the kitchen and i put on my best acting face and told him that i needed to tell him something. "i got a tattoo." he promptly stood up. walked me to my room. closed the door. and sternly said "don't tell your mom." then his face quickly changed to amusement and said "what tattoo did you get? this will be our secret." when he found out it was fake, we never laughed so hard.

i miss his laugh and i missing laughing because of him.

the one year mark came. and it was hard. and it was sad. and it almost felt like it was day one again. but somehow i feel inspired. i feel inspired by other's love and generosity. i feel inspired by kindness. i feel inspired by my dad's memory. by his legacy. by what he did in his short time here on earth. and even more inspired by all that he did for me in the short time he was in my life.