lady.

i got called a lady.

you guys it was seriously mortifying. like i practically passed out. i was sitting in line waiting for the dark night. we were about 3 groups from the front. danny had left to get treats and so i was sitting alone. minding my own business. when i reached for my bag and a huge phone came soaring over the crowd and hit me on the hand. it hurt. but i wasn't too pissed about it until i hear some 17 year old girls start saying "oh my gosh you hit that lady!" i looked over figuring i'd see that some lady got hit. when i realized. they. were. talking. about. ME! they had hit that "lady". the lady was me. i picked up the phone and this 17 year old boy looked at me and said "sorry!". i muttered something under my breath and tossed it back, purposely throwing it so he would have to move a lot to retrieve it. i was beyond upset. but mostly embarrassed. my hand hurt, but my ego hurt worse. couldn't they have called me a girl? please. can't i still be a girl? not a lady? a stuffy, OLD lady i was.

since then i've come to deal with the fact that i'm a lady. but i'm pretty sure they meant it like "muh lady" like on downton abbey. so i'll just live with that.

braggin.

danny booked our flights to new york. i've never been and all i know is i am saving my pennies. like literally every penny i am putting in the piggy bank. i'm gonna eat so much shake shack and shop so much clothes. it is going to be my best time.

it's my mom's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i am bringing her a diet coke for lunch. route 44. with lime. with my sonic fanatic sticker she bought me for christmas. what a mom! she is the greatest mom. so mommy. so funny. so friendly. so beautiful. i hope i'm funny and friendly and beautiful like her one day. so raise your glass ya'll! a toast, to my mama. hope your day is the happiest!

i went crazy shopping the other day. so i guess i lied before. i am not saving EVERY penny. a girl's gotta have some clothes. i CANNOT go naked all summer. that would be insane. anyway, i shopped and then i dropped. really. had to take a nap and then i woke up and i had traveled through time and i was mad cause haven't you ever been mad after a nap? maybe it's just me. but then i remembered i had a new shirt to wear. and then. bam. all was well in the world. and my nap headache madness was no more.

i am looking forward to the weekend. right? i mean, i should be. i want to try out this new restaurant by my house called "the black sheep". they sell navajo tacos. i've got a thing for navajo tacos i think. so we will probably go there on friday, maybe saturday. then i will probably force danny to go to the pool. he is so freaked to get a sunburn so i have to make sure to pack the sunscreen. i'm not scared. only ever had a sunburn on my nose. and that was after i was in the lake powell heat for 7 days. 7 days straight i soaked up the rays. and i'll have to tell you more about that trip sometime. it was so sketchy. but so fun. plus i jumped out of a helicopter into the LAKE! only then did i realize that i can't really swim that well. whatevs. stay tuned.

adventure.

i'm so excited for the warm weather. the other morning, on our drive to work, danny and i were talking about all the things we wanted to do this summer. he started getting crazy saying he wanted us to go mountain biking and repelling. i got all into it and said i wanted us to do so many adventurous and crazy things too. like, ride our bikes to the park and have a picnic... we couldn't stop laughing. park and a picnic? i sure now how to live life on the edge.

slugo.

 
my dad found this snail. he made a home for him. and then he called him slugo. kinda like how he found me. made a home for me. and called me daughter.

remember.

dear dad,

I've been thinking about you a lot. obviously. about your sweet heart and contagious laugh. oh that laugh, dad. how much the world will miss it. how much I will miss it. 

remember almost 15 years ago. remember when you made one woman and two girls the luckiest in the world? remember how I whispered in your ear asking you if it would be okay for me to call you "dad"? you smiled your million dollar smile and told me you would be honored. oh how you stole my heart from the beginning. how you will always have a piece of it.  

a few years later. remember. we made it official? what a brave human to adopt Erika and I. what were you thinking? so so brave. we made you own that title as dad through our teenage years, didn't we? 

your life was so full. remember you told me? you love your grand kids intensely. you took no moment with family for granted. your beautiful wife. oh how you adore her. remember that light in your eyes every time you looked at her? what a relationship to be envied! you love and respect each other fiercely and without question. 

my wedding day. remember how we didn't get a photo just you and I? how that didn't get captured we're not really sure. but remember at the temple when you told me you loved me? that you were proud of me. and that Danny was an amazing man. I'm
pretty sure you even told me he was good enough for me. remember when Danny asked you if he could marry me? he told me you said that you grew a flower every year just for me. and that you guard that flower and protect that flower. that I am your flower and now it's time for Danny to take care of that flower. to take care of me and protect me. at the time I thought you were being funny, I'll admit. maybe even trying to scare him a bit. but now? now I cherish those words. if I was a flower you must have been the sun. you had to have been. remember when I was leaving our wedding reception I couldn't find you? I wanted to say goodbye. you were in the kitchen eating a cake pop. obviously. you hugged me and as I walked away you said "hey! you're my best friend!" I laughed. and you said "really." 

remember how much you taught me? you taught me to be strong. strong for my mom and strong for my baby sister. you taught me to be nice. to be extraordinarily nice. I'm still working on that one. but actually you taught me that too--that being a good person is a work in progress. never stop trying to be better. you taught me that no moment is too small to celebrate no obstacle too hard to tackle-- face first. you taught me to be "slow to judge and quick to forgive" (you said that to me about two years ago and I've thought of it often). to forgive no matter the event. no matter the heartache caused. no matter the time lost. to forgive and to mean it. to forgive and to never look back. you know what else you taught me? to be myself. and to not be afraid. not be afraid to stand up for what I believe in. to not care what people whisper about me from afar. but to be one hundred percent authentically myself. you know this list of things you taught me could go on forever. and it will go on forever, I'm sure. I will learn things from you for the rest of my life. because in life and in death you have taught me the meaning of this life. and for that, I will be forever grateful. 

I will never ever ever forget. 

love,

mel mel.

val.

you guys. happy valentine's day! i go back and forth on how i feel about this day. i mean excuses for more presents, count me in! oh gosh. was that me who just wrote that? i'm a fool. i'm straight turning into a present hungry real housewife of utah county. not a good look.

i think pinterest is ruining my life. honestly. hear me out. but there are so many crafts, and dinners, and party ideas my head practically explodes every time i got on there. and consider this, my craftiness is slim to none. so me and pinterest are like enemies.

i had my first bad experience at cafe rio. and i think i probably won't go there for a week. which is a long time for an addict like me. but the food was actually, dare i say, gross? so i'm just not sure if i can trust them for the next week. maybe five days if i am feeling forgiving.

i'm looking forward to the three day weekend. i am going to go crazy celebrating presidents.

spouse.

danny made lasagna over the weekend. from scratch. i about passed out from how good it was. plus he cleaned the house while i was in the shower. he took me to "the vow" and pretended to love it. got up early on saturday morning to give me a ride to yoga. bought me yogurtland, twice. and this morning when the alarm went off he yelled "happy six month-aversary!"

braggin.