remember.

dear dad,

I've been thinking about you a lot. obviously. about your sweet heart and contagious laugh. oh that laugh, dad. how much the world will miss it. how much I will miss it. 

remember almost 15 years ago. remember when you made one woman and two girls the luckiest in the world? remember how I whispered in your ear asking you if it would be okay for me to call you "dad"? you smiled your million dollar smile and told me you would be honored. oh how you stole my heart from the beginning. how you will always have a piece of it.  

a few years later. remember. we made it official? what a brave human to adopt Erika and I. what were you thinking? so so brave. we made you own that title as dad through our teenage years, didn't we? 

your life was so full. remember you told me? you love your grand kids intensely. you took no moment with family for granted. your beautiful wife. oh how you adore her. remember that light in your eyes every time you looked at her? what a relationship to be envied! you love and respect each other fiercely and without question. 

my wedding day. remember how we didn't get a photo just you and I? how that didn't get captured we're not really sure. but remember at the temple when you told me you loved me? that you were proud of me. and that Danny was an amazing man. I'm
pretty sure you even told me he was good enough for me. remember when Danny asked you if he could marry me? he told me you said that you grew a flower every year just for me. and that you guard that flower and protect that flower. that I am your flower and now it's time for Danny to take care of that flower. to take care of me and protect me. at the time I thought you were being funny, I'll admit. maybe even trying to scare him a bit. but now? now I cherish those words. if I was a flower you must have been the sun. you had to have been. remember when I was leaving our wedding reception I couldn't find you? I wanted to say goodbye. you were in the kitchen eating a cake pop. obviously. you hugged me and as I walked away you said "hey! you're my best friend!" I laughed. and you said "really." 

remember how much you taught me? you taught me to be strong. strong for my mom and strong for my baby sister. you taught me to be nice. to be extraordinarily nice. I'm still working on that one. but actually you taught me that too--that being a good person is a work in progress. never stop trying to be better. you taught me that no moment is too small to celebrate no obstacle too hard to tackle-- face first. you taught me to be "slow to judge and quick to forgive" (you said that to me about two years ago and I've thought of it often). to forgive no matter the event. no matter the heartache caused. no matter the time lost. to forgive and to mean it. to forgive and to never look back. you know what else you taught me? to be myself. and to not be afraid. not be afraid to stand up for what I believe in. to not care what people whisper about me from afar. but to be one hundred percent authentically myself. you know this list of things you taught me could go on forever. and it will go on forever, I'm sure. I will learn things from you for the rest of my life. because in life and in death you have taught me the meaning of this life. and for that, I will be forever grateful. 

I will never ever ever forget. 

love,

mel mel.

val.

you guys. happy valentine's day! i go back and forth on how i feel about this day. i mean excuses for more presents, count me in! oh gosh. was that me who just wrote that? i'm a fool. i'm straight turning into a present hungry real housewife of utah county. not a good look.

i think pinterest is ruining my life. honestly. hear me out. but there are so many crafts, and dinners, and party ideas my head practically explodes every time i got on there. and consider this, my craftiness is slim to none. so me and pinterest are like enemies.

i had my first bad experience at cafe rio. and i think i probably won't go there for a week. which is a long time for an addict like me. but the food was actually, dare i say, gross? so i'm just not sure if i can trust them for the next week. maybe five days if i am feeling forgiving.

i'm looking forward to the three day weekend. i am going to go crazy celebrating presidents.

spouse.

danny made lasagna over the weekend. from scratch. i about passed out from how good it was. plus he cleaned the house while i was in the shower. he took me to "the vow" and pretended to love it. got up early on saturday morning to give me a ride to yoga. bought me yogurtland, twice. and this morning when the alarm went off he yelled "happy six month-aversary!"

braggin.

thought.

there are two types of people who work out. there are those who wipe off their cardio machine once they're done. and then there are the worst people in the world.

gag.

werk.

i'm not sure when it happened. but i know it had to have been recently. but everyone started wearing jeans and t shirts to work in my department. but i swear the dress code is business casual. i'm way confused. and i really want to wear jeans to work.

every time i wear a ponytail one of my coworkers (an older male) tells me "hey, i like your pony." and then right then and there i promise myself i will never wear a ponytail again.

i'm pretty sure someone walked by my desk and let one go yesterday. and i was on the phone so i couldn't really process what was happening. but once i hung up i straight sprinted out of there. how disgusting.

typical.

this weekend was the best time. usually my weekends are full of errands and boring things. but this one was so relaxing. i even cooked! if you count crock potting as cooking then i most def cooked. i made this chicken salsa thing and it was way good. i know it's good when danny has seconds. and i know it's suuuuper good when he has thirds.

we made a bet on the super bowl. and i won! so i get new running shoes and i can't even wait. i have been researching shoes all morning. nerdy.

i'm going to be typical right now and tell you how i am counting down the minutes until i get to see "the vow". i mean really? who isn't excited? i get teary eyed watching the previews so i can't even wait to experience the actual movie. but i have a secret.. i can't really stand channing tatum... i can hear all the girls in provo screaming at me and plotting my death after that comment. but i just can't really understand how he is famous. but anyway, hopefully he'll prove me wrong. i just wish they would have cast ryan gosling instead. notebook reunion! but then after seeing "drive" i'm always freaked out that he is going to smash someone's head in with his foot.

you guys did you know you are suppose to drink your body weight in water in ounces per day? (that sentence sucks but i couldn't figure out another way to say it.) cue peeing your pants every day right? i mean HOW? i just can't keep up.

bye.

honey.

sometimes when i read other people's blogs/facebook/instagram i get way jealous or insecure and start to think that my life isn't as amazing as theirs. and then i read this article about how that happens to a lot of people. cause they only post the good stuff, obviously. so then i felt a little better. anyway i guess what i'm trying to say is don't get jealous when you read this post. cause it really was the best trip ever. and it really was as good as i'm about to make it sound. and it really was paradise. but all i'm saying is that don't get that sick feeling in your stomach that makes you think your life is boring. cause it isn't. it's probs way fun. and if you really thought about it, you've probably been in paradise too.

so i'm gonna write about our honeymoon. i'll skip all the obvious details and move right along to the beach and this bird.

i saw like a million birds. i tried to snap photos of all of them, but they can fly. whatevs. this one stayed and posed for me. i think he thought i was an idiot like "why are you taking a picture of me? imma seagull, the most hated bird of all time." but the beach makes everything beautiful. moving on.

 

 whatababe. let me tell you. he was so cute. and how great is it to spend a whole week with your new husband? the greatest. those straws in his face are our pina colada's. i'm pretty sure that's all i ate the whole time i was there. that, and endless diet coke. two pieces of grilled salmon every night. oh and chocolate cake. and steak with A1. pasta. soup. omelets. fruit. cereal. quesadilla's. one time i ordered "melted cheese" as an appetizer. it was so good. it was like, melted cheese. k whatever, i ate everything in sight. you can't blame me. blame it on the free food. we honestly didn't hear someone tell us "no" one time. everyone told us "yes". one time we asked if we could have everything on the menu? and they said yes. but then we didn't realize that half the menu was seafood and we weren't into that so we just ate all the other stuff.

we went to chichen itza. it's one of the seven wonders of the world. it was very wonderful. and i wondered a lot. and it was just fun. plus i bought some salt and pepper shakers from the myan people. they were real nice, and took me for all the money i was worth. which was about 200 pesos. pffff.

 so danny took this picture above of me being really happy to be in front of this huge pyramid. just trying to be really excited and throwing my hands in the air like i just didn't care. i wanted to take a picture of danny doing the same thing so we could laugh about it. so i bossed him around and told him to do the same thing. and this is what he did....

he thought i was talking about this asian girl taking a picture next to us. i died of laughter once i figured out what he was doing. i'm still laughing. right now.

also, on the bus ride home they tried to sell us tequila with our picture on it! we loved it.

moving on. we also swam with dolphins. yeahhhhh. really we did. we were so excited. we were like counting down the hours until we got to go. so we get on the bus to go there. and we asked the bus driver if he takes american money cause it was the last day we were there and we didn't have pesos left. and he said of course. so we get on and he takes us there and then i hand him 8 quarters. and all the sudden he changes his mind and says he doesn't accept that. so then i almost cry. and danny and i are standing there like what do we do? we stood there for probably an hour. okay. a minute. finally this nice lady and her husband give us money. we are like gracias. and headed out to swim with the dolphins!

i was really really really excited the whole time they were strapping us into our life vests. and then all the sudden when i saw the dolphins i remembered about "the cove" and if you've seen it, you know what i mean. then i was freaked. like way scared of the dolphins. i wanted to back out. but i didn't. and my swim suit bottoms came down when a dolphin pulled me across the pool. and danny tried to jump in to save me. but i figured it out. and only a choice few saw my goods. we only got a few pictures. cause we had to sneak them cause they want you to pay them a million dollars and buy them from the company. bummer.

once we took the bus down to the flea market. we found a few fun treasures and then went across the street for some food. we got caught between these two taco stands and they were fighting for our business. the decision maker was when they offered us one free drink, danny said make it two and we're yours. neither of them wanted to do it until they realized we only drink diet coke. honestly the best tacos i've ever had. even though i'm pretty sure they are the reason for a two week sickness when we got home. worth it!

we walked around for a while and then stopped at a hotel which was a sister company to the hotel we were staying in so we got more free food and laid by the pool. while danny was off ordering pizza i saw my first thong bikini. if you want proof, check out my instagram (melissarae) you'll die. then we thought it would be a good idea to walk back to our hotel along the beach. we could see it from where we were and thought it looked about a mile away. we were wrong. it was about 5 miles away.

danny and i went on our first date on august 18. and so to celebrate our first date we got manicures and pedicures and a massage. it was heaven. danny's manicurist, who was like a 50 year old woman, was so in love with him. they talked for like an hour straight. and i don't know if this really happened or not but i'm pretty sure she kissed him on the cheek. i was loving it. my girl didn't speak english but i still feel like we made a connection. after she painted my nails she was showing all the other girls. i think she liked the color. or maybe she was making fun of my nail beds. but i was happy still.

we also went golfing on the nicest golf coarse we've ever seen in real life. it was beautiful. and in true melissa form i fell asleep in the cart while danny golfed for a few holes. but the rest of the time i was amazing company. i was just cheering and driving the cart and being a way good caddy. plus there was this cutest cart that this man drove around with free food from the hotel. popcorn. drinks. sandwiches. it was heaven. and i took something from his cart every time he came around just because i could. oh and also, danny practically got a hole in one. it was CRAZY.

well anyway we were so sad to leave obviously. and we can't wait to go back someday!